One book that you may not think you will benefit from is a book by Robert Pirsig. It was written in 1974 and is really timeless. There are intellectual treats in there that get your cognitive mind thinking hard. It was a milestone book that helped define the era. Check it out. “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An inquiry into Values.”
You have a soul that is going from infinity to infinity, up and down the forms of the universe. You are the drop that is part of the ocean. Your ingredients are the ocean’s ingredients except you have a particular code/job to do in the universe. The form you take is temporary. It is the role of an actor in a play. You are the actor. And if you remember and connect with the Director you get the cues. Problem is you forgot that this is as temporary as a play. Despite its limited play, it is essential to give your best performance. You have been assigned as an actor to play a specific role. Play the role convincingly. And when you do, people will applaud its authenticity. The best actors have the best times on stage because they fool the audience into believing its real. At the end of the day the audience and the actors leave knowing it was not real but remember the performances that sucked them in. In life we are responsible for putting out our best efforts on this stage. The efforts are our soul’s code. This is assuming we are listening to the Director within. If we are not listening then we cannot give a good performance due to being dysfunctional. Confusion comes in when we listen to the character and not the Director. How can you give a good acting job if you are not in tune with the play and other actors? All the actors should be constantly listening for cues from the Director.
As to being annihilated at death, we cathect energy all the time. We desire success for ourselves and our children, as an example. Nothing bad about that. However, if death approaches before these desires get fulfilled, we have energized a sort of debt that needs to be remunerated in the next karmic experience we have. If we have no desires or debts, then there is nothing to hold us unless we become bodhisatvas. Our identity, to a certain extent, is both the skillful and unskillful ways we have cathected our energies. It is a seed that will in its own time reach fruition. The law of karma.
When you worry about your legacy and your continuing on, you pronounce your attachment to the temporary phenomenon of the actor’s role. If anything you are the Director (in the egoless sense only). When you absolutely know that this life is impermanent you still attach yourself to the temporary instead of the permanent. You want permanent at the end. Whatever you practice now will show up at the end. Practice Being now, Seeing always. See the Silence. It is there you will find yourself, always. Then act, like you’ve never acted before!
ENTER THE MOMENT AND SEE THE SILENCE. Daddy’O