And how much is this my ‘doing’? Am I really in control or do I just ‘think’ I am? If i just ‘think’ I am, then it is an illusion that persists.
Question is why do I think that I need to be in control?
To be in control is to ‘believe’ that we can do much more than is possible. We negate the autonomic nervous system. We negate the body’s ability to translate food into processes particular to carbs, fats, and protein. We take breathing for granted and subvert it with thoughts that destabilize the optimum. But we keep on breathing, hopefully without effort.
We act if we can predict the future when the next Moment belongs to the Universe and it’s creative intelligence. Nothing is ever exactly the same twice, except in a Matrix movie.
We hedge our bets with investments and insurance and chance our livelihoods with jobs that assure nothing but stress. More often than not, our jobs do us rather than they be instruments for personal transformation.
Love is conditional in our relationships from birth to death. If we don’t prescribe to certain dictates then we can’t be good enough to be loved, period. Conditionality becomes conditioned and conditioning inures us to be over-predictable and stagnant. Spontaneity and authenticity are often traded first for conditioned love. It is better to be pleasing than ‘real’, no?!
Marriage is there for the blossomed heart. The heart awakens and we accept people just the way they are. Or do we? How we love the love, consistently determines the fullness of our love.
Marriage is but one aspect of life as far as love is concerned. Doing it well there usually bodes well for how we do it with all others.
When we think that we are the ‘maker’ of our life, we underscore control and negate the essential energy of life where life itself is working through us. Control reverses this flow to a conditioned response that closes beautiful energies from reaching us. Unaware conditioning rules us with fear and misunderstanding, establishing our identity as being the idea of ‘me’ versus Being all of It. Control and the need for control, exposes our misidentification.
Love, whether in marriage or any other relationship, means the full acceptance and inclusiveness of everything and everybody, just as it and they are. That is radical Love, also known as “What Is”. There is no need to understand it as an idea. That is for the mind. “What Is” needs no mind or judgment. That, is loving everything and everybody, unconditionally.
Accepting ‘that’ level of unconditioned Love is the commitment that vows ideally lead us to. Understanding is going into the cognitive precluding the vastness of Love itself. Romancing the mind is not the ticket for bliss, marital or otherwise.
“My deepest wish is for you to realize the Truth of your Being. Know that the search and the one who searches are imaginary. When the mind is still, you are on the threshold. Abide there until The Only reveals and the imaginary evaporates.”
– nirgun john
Be The Moment. See and accept the Now without the control of the mind reducing the content to mechanical terms. Love and the heart center is thrilled by the devotion to it without conditions and terms. Be ’That’, constantly. Acceptance is a good place to start every Moment.